First I wanted to show you my final work for Chinese Directing class. I had to shoot myself, use my script and edit myself. I simply used the idea of Marina Abramovic and her performance «Rhythm 0«. Same performance inspired Shaia LaBeouf and his «I am sorry«. In my performance or short movie I’m trying to maintain the idea of cruelty of humans nature when you don’t resist. It is a famous experiment (also shown in the movie «Das Experiment» based on a FICTIONAL experiment (highlighted ONLY in 2018)) but there is no real proof, only fiction and performance. You also cannot prove some guests were not set up. Here one by one my guests become more aware of my passiveness and try to use it in a harsh way. Don’t read too much, just watch.
Usually I reveal the results of the year at the end of January. It is mostly symbolic — life is not a job, you’re responsible only before yourself. As I always speak (and not only me but many others) — life is like a fight but with yourself mostly. There is no good or bad, there are only your decisions that prove to be right or wrong later. Time is the best evidence which decision was good or bad. Briefly:
— I released my first short movie — «Reflections«.
— I made my first documentary about Bar Culture in China (Shanghai, Nanjing, Ningbo).
— I was successful obtaining scholarship for the new year of study, chose one research work, thesis proposal was successfully approved. Also moved away from STA dorms and live alone (still have some struggle, but…).
— Had first festival run my movie («Reflections» in AISFF).
— Participated in several NON commercial productions in Shanghai, also did Winter School in STA.
— Read tons of books, materials, learnt how to edit and constantly studying it, watched many movies and finally started analyzing them from the technical point of view. My research and knowledge is getting more theoretical and practical.
— Got rid of many unnecessary things, checking my financials, managing it, tracking incomes and losses, more professional in investments. Gains — shares. Losses — cryptocurrency.
— Got to Japan, went home, going to US soon to plan my next moves.
— Playing guitar everyday. It’s an epic win I think.
So it’s quire short, because I don’t want to put many small details and minor wins. Also don’t wanna highlight failures. All failed plans go to the next year. In 2019 I will do a performance during Dragon Burn Festival, apply for funding, also will shoot a documentary about the Burn and this subculture.
In 2018 I met or got closer to several good people, with whom we became friends. I met many kind and good people who helps and just shares (many artists of course). Also in 2018 and January I lost many people as well. The circle of my friends is getting smaller. Many people were lost due to objective and subjective reasons — someone just found their own way and we don’t get in touch anymore (life), some just dumped my as a used tissue, some were not wise enough to understand who I am, some just didn’t care. It’s all natural and everyone in 20, 30, 40 and so on encounter it. But in 2018 I realized I’m gonna invest in myself and in people who cares about me, create a harmony among ones who’s important to me. Especially in myself. Yes, in 2018 I finally found my harmony and it already reflects outside. No more worries, nerves, waste of time. I’m happy to be like this, to feel it. It reminds me of 2011 until my huge breakdown in summer. I’m getting strong again. And I will succeed.
Wish you best guys in 2019. Make plans. Fulfill dreams. Be yourself. Don’t think too much, don’t waste your time thinking of castles in the sky — ask if you have questions, do if you want to do something. And most of all don’t lie to yourself.